How LOVE Changed My Life

It was 2010 and for a shit-storm of reasons, my former life had begun to dissolve. I violently grappled with the transition for the next four years. My values around home and family were constantly being challenged until I became willing to release them. Then in 2014 I let go of my house, condensing my life into an apartment. It was time for me to surrender ideas around my identity as wife, mother and domestic goddess. I needed to stop playing house and focus on my life purpose. Trying to merge the two wasn't working.

This didn't happen quickly. I was experiencing the peak of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which made the process of change overwhelmingly difficult and dramatic. Transitional rage filled my days for some time as I realised the realities of apartment life. I felt assaulted by the noises and needs of the other occupants.

It took three more years for me to learn how to manage the aggravations around me and channel my energy into my work. Eventually I created my first non-fiction book: The Love of the Universe. It describes a set of loving, life-affirming principles. I crafted the principles to help me rebuild my personality and my life and to manage its challenges. I'm not sure if they have helped anyone else yet, but I can see and feel evidence that the principles have helped me. Also, if 'the world needs love' - I want to help and I believe love begins with the self.

This blog post lists all eight principles found in the book, as well as some of the ways that living the
principles have helped me recover my sense of purpose, direction and self-control:

Principle Zero: I am the love of the universe.
Initiating Loving Principles of Living Energy in a Creatively Evolving Universe
Available on Amazon
I needed to discover a way to bring love into my life in a self-sufficient way. Depending on other people was clearly not my path in life. By tapping into the love of the universe, I was able to become more self-reliant and less needy. I found a way to check-in with myself and consider whether I was behaving in a loving manner. I learned to see love not only as something we get or give, but something we are; Whether we are in the company of others or all by ourselves.

Principle One: I am important and I care for myself.
As a member of families and groups, I had learned how to consider others' feelings and negotiate outcomes to support them. But I hadn't sufficiently considered myself. My very real ambitions had lay practically dormant as I danced along to a choreography I hadn't written. Fear of losing or upsetting others prevented me from being assertive and clearly stating my needs. This generated some serious resentment within me. To evolve further, I realised I needed to be less other-serving and more self-serving. Through writing The Love of the Universe, I learned how to become more aware of my own needs and meeting them in negotiation with others.

Principle Two: My energy rises and falls.
I possess a triple dose of emotions! But I am learning to compare the storms of my moods to the weather. I can't change the weather, but I can adapt to it and lessen the impact. I have learned that judging and suppressing my feelings doesn't work. I had to allow myself to feel their full force without being knocked over. I also had to accept that others' energy also rises and falls, without taking it personally.

Principle Three: Curiosity opens my mind.
My thinking was dominated by fear. Not a new condition, but a condition I believed I had recovered from earlier in life. A few difficult events made me worry I had made some wrong decisions. As a result, my confidence was flagging. Gradually, the words I was writing began to retrain my brain. It was getting easier to switch my thinking over to the positive. I felt like I understood human energy and how it flowed better than ever before. I was curious to see the project through and observe the effect on my life and the lives of others.

Principle Four: Symbiosis carefully connects me to all.
Service and boundaries. What a revelation! The exploration of heart centred energy was the most transformative part of my journey so far. There's nothing like apartment life to teach a person how to mind their own business! I didn't learn immediately. It took involvements with various ailing neighbours before I finally got the message to just leave them alone. I didn't have to care for or rescue anyone except myself. I had discovered my own limits. I could now better connect with the world in a safe and considered way, while looking after my own interests.

Principle Five: My expressions create my life.
Then the fun began. The more I shifted my focus to my own goals, the more fulfilled I felt. My emotional intensity meant that serving others was actually draining me. I realised I could better serve the world by serving myself. With this shift I felt increasing power and my ability to manage my own life increased. I began to see shifting collective energies as they danced through my moods. I started to learn how to dance with them instead of seeking to overcome them. This enabled me to better navigate the opportunities and challenges that came my way. I also found the daily discipline to act according to my goals and plans, rather than be at the whim of my moods.

Principle Six: Impressions inform my senses.
Falling apart had its benefits. The opportunity to retreat from the world for a few years enabled me to meditate on the patterns of my life. I was able to find meaning and purpose to the decisions I had made. A large, cosmic picture gradually formed that helped me make sense of things. Trust in my own perceptions and the ability to act on them had grown, so that I felt more strength and authority over my life.

Principle Seven: I am a loving creator, flowing with evolutions inspiration.
This is where I remember that I am creating the life I so often complain about. It's up to me to enhance those aspects of my life that are life-affirming. It's up to me to bring people, projects and experiences into my life who expand my connection to love.  If things aren't working out as I expect them, then I have to do something about it. I am the architect. This is a most empowering place to live from. Through Principle Seven I can rise from the traps of victimisation and take my place as the leader of my own life. For me, it's time to be self-sufficient, self-directed and sovereign.

Now, I'm beginning to recognise that I don't need to strive to change my life, because it has already happened. I had been too busy fighting to notice that what I'm fighting for no longer suits me.  Somehow while I was grieving the loss of my old life and it's loves, a whole new life had already dawned.

With The Love of the Universe now published, I'm no longer in such a rush. In spite of the ups and downs of life, I can enjoy each writing day in a structured and self-disciplined way, unknown to me before. Personally, the principles I explored in The Love of the Universe were a revelation in how to be a spiritual person in a physical world. I'm moving on to other projects now, but The Love of the Universe still guides my life, reminding me how to be both loving and strong.

May you find the love of your life. X

Leanne Margaret © 2018


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