Getting Personal With Life Writing
It wasn't the first time I had battled the dragon of mental illness. I was twenty-four years old when
diagnosed with Post-Natal Depression (PND). My baby and I went off to hospital for several weeks while I learned skills in parenting an infant and setting up good routines. I also began learning about self-care. But there were large gaps in my self-awareness and I was still regularly plagued with flashbacks from earlier experiences in my life. I was so used to them that I was no longer conscious of the effect they were having on me, and my relationships. I was both terrified of people, and of being alone.
By the time I was thirty-eight these unhealed wounds had wreaked havoc on my life. I was finally diagnosed with PTSD. I now realise I've had it since I was a child. My anxiety goes so far back that I didn't realise I could live any differently. In fact I didn't notice it until I fell exhausted into depression. When I lost the motivation to perform daily routines and even the will to live.
It was obvious to me that I needed more than the prescribed medications and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy offered to me by mainstream medicine. I needed to re-build myself into a new, stronger person. Someone so in charge of her life and her direction that dependencies on others fell into the background.
"...the needing no longer hurts me."
Of course I still need people. But the needing no longer hurts me. I created a set of statements for myself that combined my understanding of the spiritual with the practical need to recover from trauma. Then I wrote a book about how to use these statements to balance the human energy field. They can also help you to evolve to higher levels of human consciousness. You can find it by clicking the books tab. Oh and check out the clip at the end of this post.
But this post isn't about advertising my book. I'm currently writing my third book. It's a memoir and tells the story behind the story. I don't want to talk too much about it yet. But I do want to start getting used to the genre of life writing.
That means I'll be writing about more personal stuff. I'm not doing it because I think my daily life is more interesting than my articles—it probably isn't! I'm doing it to get used to producing writing of a more personal nature. It's been nice and safe to pump out how-to articles. But the idea of putting my memoir out there is going to take a bit of getting used to.
So this blog is going to be my practice ground for a while. The plan is: keep them short and keep them coming. The theme will be something like: mutterings of an evolving being.
Stay tuned—or not. But please check out the books tab for the love of your life.