Staying Cool at School

Back to School

As I was winding up draft 14 of my memoir, life took an unexpected turn. An opportunity came up for me to enrol in the Certificate IV in Training & Assessment – on a scholarship. It's a special offer for trainers of pre-accredited courses to up-skill their teaching to include literacy and numeracy. Apparently this funding has been allocated in response to research that 99% of employers aren't happy with their employees literacy and numeracy skills. Although my year was already full, and people told me that it's a really heavy and hard course, I enrolled. 

The first couple of weeks introduced an intimidating workload; not just intimidating to me, but to many members of the class. Mopping tears of frustration, I considered withdrawing from the course. I spilled my frustrations onto Facebook; something about 'so very, very, many, many, many, maddening pages of work.' I took it down, reminding myself not to spill onto Facebook like a lunatic. I spoke to my daughter, who is an experienced student with various certificates and a degree. She encouraged me to hang in there, and that TAFE courses are known to contain many, many, many pages of work. I got back to course work. One. Page. At. A. Time.  

Mystical Messages

Being a mystic is useful. It means I was able to confirm with 'the universe' that I'm doing the right thing. On this occasion I used the I Ching, which is an ancient Chinese divinatory system that I only use when I need good clear advice that tells it like it is. It advised me to hang in there, and that opportunities will arise from the experience. So I endured – ignoring the mental chit-chat trying to tell me I'm too old/stupid/distracted/learning disordered to continue.

I Can Do Hard Things

It's obvious I love teaching, and the practical assessments where I get to present things to the class come easily to me. However, the many, many worksheets do my head in. I keep reminding myself that I can do hard things. I've written two books. I've lived through various protracted and difficult stages of life. This course is only for nine months. I can do a hard thing for nine months. I shall endure. 

Meditate and Be Cool

I have tricks and tools, especially meditation. Each night I dedicate myself to the love of the universe, as described in my first book. I also dedicate myself to the elements of earth, air, fire and water; invoking their energies into my own personality and keeping their elemental power balanced. My evening meditation helps me to transition into sleep as well as balance aspects of myself that correspond to the elements. We are literally made of the elements of nature, and attuning to their power each night helps me to remember that I am not separate from anything. 

Each morning, I use affirmations to help me to structure my thinking in a way that encourages me to think of 'I can' statements rather than blocking me with 'I can't' statements. I used to keep a list of affirmations in my phone. I created the list gradually over a period of about a decade, crafting a new affirmation each time I identified a specific block or unhelpful habitual reaction. The list got too long to read each day, so I chopped up some old page dividers and created a deck of 42 cards which I draw from each morning and write about in my daily journal page. It helps me to start the day on a positive note, even if I've had a bad night of troubling dreams.

Some of the affirmations I use come directly from statements I made in my books. Others, like the one illustrated here, were made to deal with challenging day-to-day issues that threaten my peace – like motorbikes tearing past my building rattling my brain. They really hurt, like, in a physical way. I feel the sound of those bikes on my bones like an assault. I wonder why people are willing to ride machines that hurt the people around them? What kind of people are these riders? Psychopaths? Attention seekers? Arseholes? All of the above? Anyhow, if I don't use phrases like these to keep me steady, I too am capable of shouting like the proverbial arsehole I so complain about. I remind myself of my last apartment, situated in a way that caused said bikes to rattle my windows and shake my glassware. Things are so much better than they used to be. Be cool!

Today is a quiet day. I've come to appreciate the rain because the motorbikes stay home on rainy days. It means I might be able to go for a walk without hectic music playing through my earbuds. It means I'll be able to listen to the trees, and listen for people around me – listen for safety. 

Growth Leads to Change

I'm on holidays from teaching creative writing for the next few weeks. I'm planning on catching up with school work and finishing another draft of my memoir. I'm adapting to a schedule that hasn't been this full since pre-Covid, when I was working in a tedious office job. Even though this course is hard, it's way better than a tedious office job; and who knows where it will lead. I've been teaching for 25 years without this qualification, and I can already feel the course content getting into my brain, changing it into...who knows what? Time will tell. Again, mysticism supports me on this journey, as my birth number is 11, the number of the master-teacher. This means it's easy for me to make sense of this new learning journey – despite the time it's absorbing from my book writing work, and my aching back from too much sitting in front of the computer at my dining table (where I can spread out the many, many course materials in front of me). 

I remember how good it felt to earn my Certificate III in Small Business Management. That memory is helping me to look forward to how I'll feel with a Certificate IV in Training & Assessment. I shall endure. I can do hard things. I have all the tools I need. The universe is supporting me. 

Although it would appear that I don't have much time for reading, I don't think I can help myself. I found a biography of Coco Chanel in the library at the community house where I'm studying. It's hooky enough to give me a break from study, but not so hooky that I can't put it down. It's the right book for me right now. 

Now I have a newsletter to draft. I'll be announcing the dates for next term's Introduction to Creative/Professional Writing, as well as conjuring up a writing prompt to help you get words onto the page. Have you subscribed? Here's a link to my sign-up page. 

Thanks for reading. Wishing you the strength you need to do hard things.